Hi, I’m Sasha Pasulka. I’m not really a monster. I’m a girl. The monster thing is just something my friends Alex and Kate puffy-painted on a plastic lemonade bottle one night when we were sixteen and drunk and Kate was driving the rented Spyder on the wrong side of Invergordon while everybody else was in Europe. We’d purchased the lemonade as mixers for the vodka. The epithet stuck, probably better than the puffy paint, as it had been mixed with vodka as well.
If you’re reading this, you either know me as the girl who writes Evil Beet or as the girl you slept with last night and are currently Googling. On the off-chance that you’re my father, then you know me as your daughter and that I’m just kidding and am totally a virgin.
I live in Seattle but am happy to travel to New York or LA if you are going to make me famous. Otherwise, I rather dislike airplanes. That’s because they used to let me write the software for them. Long story. But, trust me, if you’re not afraid of transporting your body via airplane, you really ought to be. A comprehensive list of the aircraft operating on software either written or tested by me is available upon request.
I have a dog named Leo and three cats named Josie, Ashley and Maxwell. If you’re going to give me crap about giving my animals “people names” then I am going to start referring to your children as “Mr. Fluffy,” “Spot,” and “Oreo.”
Contact Information
General inquiries and/or fawning compliments:
spasulka AT gmail DOT com
Requests for interviews and/or other things that will make me famous:
spasulka AT gmail DOT com
Offers of cash advances to write a book:
spasulka AT gmail DOT com
Requests from complete strangers to be added to my blogroll:
gov DOT sarah AT yahoo DOT com
