Hey, so, on Saturday night, I went to a bar, which is not such a big deal in and of itself, but Saturday night was special because I got a crown. I got a crown because the bar had a competition where girls had to unwrap certain things (a Reese’s crunch bar, a Twinkie, a giant and difficult-to-unwrap-so-you-had-to-use-your-teeth sausage) and then put condoms on them. It was all very feminist and empowering and you know that because of the crowd of men surrounding us, taking pictures and cheering us on in our feminist empowerment.
I won that competition, bitch.
