Ummmm I’m obsessed with Bad Girls Club, you guys. If you’re not watching it, you should be. And I swear to God they don’t even pay me. They advertise a little for me, but that’s it, I swear. I’m a natural evangelist of BGC. This week’s episode blew my pants off. These girls are just so awesomely horrible.
I don’t have much to say. Things are going well, basically. It’s weird because I’m in this space where the problems I do have are problems that, for whatever reason, can’t be advertised on the Internet. It’s really weird and uncomfortable because I’m so used to airing everything out on this blog and getting feedback from all of you, and I hate keeping secrets from the Internet. But suddenly it’s like everyone’s on this Internet thing and they all read this blog and then I get into trouble or hurt people’s feelings and that’s not what I’m about.
I don’t belong in the Bad Girls house, exactly, but there’s definitely a bad-girl streak in me. Wiggles calls it “love avoidant” behavior. I panic about commitments. Everybody bores me instantly. I have the attention span of my puppy. I’ll spare you all a bone joke here. But I have so much trouble being a good girl in relationships. Even wanting to be a good girl is hard for me. I’m so disinterested in everyone, eventually, and sooner rather than later. How does one resolve that?
And, you guys, I’m trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I have this strange career path where it turns out that, unless I want to write celebrity gossip for the rest of my life, I have no other career options. I’m trying very, very, very hard to have faith in God with this one, but it’s been trying. I know I will be guided to where I ought to be, but I’m having trouble believing that day-to-day. The other frustrating thing is that I’ve always been someone who’s, like, “I can move anywhere! I’m not tied down by anything! Not married! No kids! Pick me up and plant me anywhere!” But a funny thing has happened — I’ve fallen in love with Seattle. This city keeps me healthy, inside and out. In the nearly two years that I’ve lived here (WOW, has it really been that long?) I’ve made the kind of emotional progress and arrived at the kind of emotional and physical health and stability that I never dreamed was actually possible for me. I do not want to leave this city.
So, Seattle it is. Anyone have job suggestions? Be specific about what type of job, exactly, you think I’d be good at and enjoy, and why, specifically, anyone in the right minds would hire me to do it. Oh and keep in mind that EVERYTHING BORES ME EVENTUALLY. But with jobs I love and am passionate about I usually have a four-year lifespan.
Maybe this is the sort of thing I should see a career counselor about? Or attend a career counseling workshop? I’m also open to recommendations about how you find those in Seattle. The good ones, that is.
I so think you should own half of http://www.realrehabreview.com I know the owner and she thinks your rad and needs your help badly! Emily
All I want in life is to get into Microsoft. I graduate next December with a bachelors of business administration in Marketing and Business Law. I want to work for Microsoft or go to law school. Either way, I want to eventually end up in or around Seattle or at least in Washington.
I think we should open a used book store. lol. Which is to say, *I* want to open a used book store. I think you would be a super friend to have around while doing so. That is all. :P
That is a hard one, Sasha. I don’t really know you, I just catch little bits of your life from your blog, but it seems that you really love animals. I worked with a woman couple of years older than me (I’m 34) and she left her $300,000 a year director position at our company to move to the mid west and run an animal rescue operation. She took a $250,000 pay cut to live her dream. I thought that was so damn cool. She was so close to becoming a VP and making a high six figure salary. She just got fed up with all of the bullshit.
Whatever you find, I hope you love it. There is nothing worse than doing something you hate. Good luck.
Hey Sasha,
I have been asking myself “what do I want to be when I grow up?” forever. I still don’t know. I’m not going to claim I know exactly how you feel, cause no one does, but I get bored insanely quickly with things. When I first find something I like I become abso-f’n-lutely OBSESSED with it, be it a career, a boyfriend, a book, or a shade of lip gloss. My world revolves around it until one day. . . I’m done. Over it. Next please? This causes me a lot of problems in romantic relationships too. There are a number of different things I would like to try as a career. I’d love to be a private investigator, a book editor, a movie critic, a celebrity assistant, a foster parent for homeless animals (even though I’d never give them back and prob end up on Hoarders with like 2,000 cats, dogs, birds and horses) the owner of a used book store, a punk rock band groupie, a stuntwoman, etc. But you know what I think? Who says you have to be ONE THING for the rest of your life? You can be all you want and more. Fuck! Spend 4 months flipping burgers if you want! You’re brilliant Sasha, be what ever you want to be for as long as you want to be, and then be something else?
Anyways, I’ve rambled on way too long. . . and I work at Blockbuster Video so. . . you may not want to listen to me:)
Jennie
Oh wow… I am also LOVING Bad Girls Club this season. I’ve watched every season, thinking it can’t possibly top the last one, and it always does. I understand what you mean about not knowing how to be a good girl, but it will happen. I used to cheat on every boyfriend (i know, i know) until I found “the one”. When you fall for him, you just stop being interested in other guys. I honestly never believed it would happen either, but its been 5 years and I have zero desire to be with anyone else. There is hope for you!
As for not knowing what to be when you grow up, I can totally relate to that too. My company relocated an hour and a half away in October, and I decided not to go because I wanted to pursue something else. 4 months later, I am still unemployed and have made zero progress finding a new career path. Sigh…
I’m graduating from college this year so I’ve been thinking about this too. But you’re so different from me. You have real work experiences and you know what you’re good at. I’m just trying not to go into the typical routes that people go after they graduate from my program (Business).
I think you mentioned that you like fixing html codes? And you sound like you’d be great with marketing because you’re really good at knowing what people want/need and you’re amazing at using the right words to get that out. Also I read from someone else’s comment about counselling. I think you’d be an awesome counselor, but you might get really stressed out because you might take too much of their stuff onboard.
Anyway, best of luck, I know you’ll be amazing at whatever you wanna do!
Maybe you should go back to school and become a professor of computer science and media studies? Being a prof allows you to maintain a really flexible schedule, run a business on the side, and write academically about the field you’re an expert in.
It might be worth it!