I needed a change. This website is so much of me — I didn’t mean for it to be like this when I started it, but it’s become inextricably linked with the person I am and the uncanny and dark and now-blurry journey I’ve been on for the past few years. I do not want a clean slate. I am not a clean slate. But with the unconditional and endless love and support of my friends and family (and therapists), the grace of God, and a great deal of hard work on my own part, I woke up several weeks ago and it occurred to me that I am a remarkably functional and sane human being today. I am happy today, happy in my own skin, happier than I’ve been in a really long time. And it’s been like that for quite awhile now. People notice; they ask me why my face looks different. It’s a strange question to be asked and an even stranger question to answer, particularly in the absence of actual plastic surgery. I tell them I’ve lost weight. It’s easier than “I stopped being crazy.”
I’ve been asked out on more dates in the past three weeks than in the past six months combined. People notice.
I feel like I’ve shed the skin of the person I have been in the not-so-distant past, and I wanted to shed a skin here, on my Internet doppelganger. I wanted it colorless and I wanted it simple. I want to take more pictures and video. I want to share more things that I think are interesting or amusing. I want it to be more fun around here, because my life is a lot more fun these days. And most of you have been around here, loyal, reading, commenting, emailing through years of the dark parts. I hope you all stay around for the wonderful and bright parts. And I hope that, when there are dark parts, as there always are, that you will be here then, too.
