After watching The Biggest Loser last night, I’ve been fixated on that turkey chili that Curtis Stone made to put on potatoes. My trainer says that to take my body “to the next level,” I should be eating no starchy carbs at night, so I was thinking this would be a perfect starch-free evening meal (sans the potato, of course). The actual Curtis Stone recipe on the NBC website was ridiculously complicated, so I asked on Twitter and Facebook and got this recipe, which was much simpler. I added in red and green bell peppers and mixed the finished product with non-fat yogurt, and it was delicious, very filling, and super healthy and low-calorie.
They’re always whining on and on about Jennie O ground turkey on Biggest Loser, and in my head I’m like “Blah, blah, blah product placement, it’s the same as any other damn turkey,” but today in the grocery store I was comparing the calories and fat of Jennie O to other brands of ground turkey (even brands that say “lean”) and Jennie O is like 30% fewer calories and fat. Also, while I was standing there comparing the brands, like five people came up and grabbed packages of Jennie O ground turkey. All the other ground turkeys just sat on the shelf without suitors. It’s sad for them because they don’t get to be on The Biggest Loser, although I’m sure all brands of ground turkey are doing exceptionally well right now, what with Bob harping on about Jennie O every damn week. Okay. This is more than I’d ever hoped to write about ground turkey in my life.
Oh, but here’s something interesting: Whenever I see Curtis Stone on that show, I’m like, “I know I’m supposed to be attracted to him, but I’m not.” First off, I’m not into guys with foreign accents. I’m into guys with Boston accents or Southern accents or New York accents. Foreign accents turn me off. Every other country’s guys sound like such pussies compared to American men. I’m so fucking brainwashed. He’s also, like, too attractive. I went through this phase for awhile where I only wanted to date male models, like uber, uber pretty boys with perfect bodies. I don’t have any idea what brought it on, but I am so over it now. I’m into guys who are imperfect physically. I’ve come to the realization that they try harder in the bedroom and work harder to impress. I betcha Curtis Stone just lays on his back and beckons, like, “Grind my turkey chili, woman.”
Lastly, I’m obsessed with this stuff. They’re not even paying me to say that (the FTC would make me disclose that now). This white peach tea Crystal Light shit is mind-blowing. I can’t get enough of it. It’s all I want in my mouth all day long.
