I wish I had something fascinating and interesting for you guys. Everything that’s going on in my life is non-bloggable, because the people and things it involves don’t want to be on my blog, not even anonymously, and I have to respect that. It makes me crazy, though, because blogging really helps keep me sane. Writing these things out — sometimes coming to huge realizations as I do so — and then accepting feedback and support from total strangers is incredibly therapeutic and helpful for me. It’s hard to have things going on, things that are weighing on me, and not be able to use this as a forum to discuss them. It’s such an important outlet for me. It has a marked impact on my psychological health when I can’t talk about shit on here. Weird, right?
But life has been fairly methodical lately, and I suppose that’s a good thing, although it doesn’t always seem that way. I’m someone who needs to be constantly on my toes, ultra-busy with life, otherwise I get stuck in my head, and that’s a very bad place for me. Like I’ve mentioned many times before, life is stagnant right now. I need a goal — something I’m working toward. This happened around this time last year, too, and so I decided to sign up for the Arizona half-marathon. It was my new project. That really helped back then, but I can’t get motivated to do it again this year. Last year, I thought it would be fun to prove that I could do something like that — it was exciting and new. This year it just feels like too much work. I need a project, y’all. I’m open to suggestions.
Tomorrow I’m getting a Vi Peel, which is a facial peel that’s supposed to remove acne scarring. I’ve heard it’s relatively painless, and I’ve been wanting to do it for awhile, and now the place where I used to get my facials is offering it at around 2/3 of its regular price, so I decided to go for it. I’m a little nervous, because I’ve heard my skin is going to basically peel off in the days following (duh, that’s why they call it a peel, I guess), and I’ve heard horror stories on the Internet about skin getting patchy afterward. But I have a bunch of acne scarring on my cheeks and forehead that I’ve always wanted to get rid of, and everyone I’ve actually talked to in person about — ie not some random review on the Internet — has spoke favorably of the procedure, said it didn’t hurt, and liked the results. I’m mostly just nervous about the peeling, and not for the obvious reasons: If my damned face is peeling off, I’ll pretty much want to stay hidden in my apartment. I won’t be going into the office or doing much interaction with the outside world. That’s when I can get really dark and depressed — when I spend too much time alone. So I guess what I need to do is just talk about it — tell my friends what’s going on, and maybe make plans to do dinners in dark restaurants every night. Just make sure that people know where I am and what’s going on. I actually feel better about it just having written this. :)
I’ll let you guys know how it goes tomorrow, and maybe we’ll even get photos of my face peeling off (ewwwww!).
