Ha ha ha ha ha! This is what my face looks like right now. I got the Vi Peel today. It was actually a really simple procedure. It took about 10 minutes. It didn’t hurt very much at all. They first put a light coat of the peel on, and it contains a numbing agent. So, by the time they put the whole thing on, your skin doesn’t feel much of it. It feels hot and it burns a little bit, but it’s by no means any sort of intense pain. It was easier than I’d expected, to be honest. I have to put some other cream on my skin tonight which I guess will actually cause my skin to start peeling off by tomorrow or Sunday. The lady said that if I didn’t want it to peel much, I could just put a little bit of the cream on and then rinse it off, but if I wanted the full-blown peel effect, I should leave the cream on overnight. She recommended I do the latter, and that’s what I plan to do. I mean, if I’m spending that much money on this shit, I may as well get the maximum benefit, even if it’s worse in the short term. She said she thought the peel would be really helpful for my acne scarring and discoloration. (Although right now I’m way more discolored than I was before I went in there!) So I’m hopeful about the results, and I’ll keep you guys posted.
I’m heading out to do a restorative yoga class with my girlfriends, despite the fact that I look like a science fiction creature right now. I figure by the time the yoga class gets started, everyone’s faces will be a little flushed and I won’t look that out of place. Plus, as I mentioned, I’ve been really really stuck in my head lately, and I don’t want to spend another night like that. My mind terrifies me. I need to be out and about and with my friends. It’s Rosh Hashana tonight, and a friend invited me to the kibbutz in Ravenna for Rosh Hashana dinner. I feel like I should go, and I really like my guy friend who invited me, but I don’t really know any of the other people. Something tells me I just need to be with my close girlfriends right now. I think God will understand.
Rosh Hashana is the Jewish new year. I feel like I could use a fresh start right about now. I think I’m emotionally more on the Jewish calendar than the U.S. calendar. Early fall is usually a rough time for me. Everything feels like it’s winding down and collapsing. Then things pick up a little bit by October, after Yom Kippur. I just need to hang in there and make sure I’m reaching out to my friends and staying the fuck out of my own head. Last night was pretty rough. Nothing bad happened at all; I just got home from work early and then didn’t go back out again to do anything. So I ended up spending like eight hours all alone before I went to bed. That’s simply not an option for me. I cannot spend that much time alone. After four or five hours it just gets really, really scary in my head. Scary enough that I’m going out in public with my face looking like this rather than risk getting to that emotional place again. It’s so strange to me that my own mind betrays me like that. It just needs to be constantly engaged or it turns on me so fast, and I completely lose control of what it’s doing or what it’s thinking. But I’m pleased with myself that I’m remembering to reach out and make choices that are healthy for me.
Stay tuned for new pics of my face tomorrow! It’ll probably look worse!
