First off: It is disgustingly hot. I know I complain a lot about the heat on here, but, you know what? THAT’S WHY I STARTED A PERSONAL BLOG. So I could talk about ANY DAMN THING I WANTED ANY DAMN TIME I WANTED. Not that any of you have complained about me complaining about the heat. But the heat just puts me in such a bad mood that I’m creating phantom complaints. It is supposed to be this hot for the entire next week. Can I just say that weather.com is a giant cock-tease? I always look at the 10-day predictions, hoping for rain, and it has a little tiny thundercloud in the final day’s slot, and I get all excited and I promise myself that if I can just live through NINE MORE DAYS of this BITTER, AWFUL sunshine, I will have my rain. Then I check it again the next day and my thundercloud is missing and replaced by a big yellow sun and I am devastated. My days are one sunshine-y disappointment after another.
The one spot of joyous coolness in this misery? My AC unit — or, as I’ve endearingly named it, “Slater.” It just sits in the corner of my living room pumping out beautiful coldness and sending the warm shit outside through the dog door slit. At least someone in this house is using that dog door to put warm shit outside; Leo prefers to use the bathroom floor, because he’s a person don’t you know that?.
But Slater has been causing some trouble (and not with my energy bill, because I haven’t received that yet). Slater is so loud that it makes it very difficult for me to hear my iTunes movies. So today I dragged my friend Kara to Best Buy with me. Actually, I didn’t drag her at all. She doesn’t have a car and her apartment doesn’t have AC and so I think I could have called her and been like, “Kara, I’m heading over to the hospital to let some Army med students use my body to practice how to do invasive surgery in the absence of anesthesia. They need a second volunteer, and they have AC,” and she would have been like “I’m already walking down my stairs, dear.”
Kara and I went to Best Buy, where the very helpful guy there hooked us up with awesomely loud speakers, and he also gave us a cord we could use to hook my laptop up to my HD TV. (Then I played in Target for an hour because, what the hell, it was next-door, and Target is my happy place. Do you think I could have my wedding inside a Target?) But by the time Kara and I got home, we were confused as all hell. We really thought he’d sold me the wrong cord. It took us like half an hour to figure out how to plug this damn cord into my laptop — Kara finally made it work. Then it took an additional half-hour to figure out how to adjust the display settings on my Mac to play nicely with my television. But then — THEN! — I got to watch my precious West Wing reruns on my flat-screen TV with super-loud volume. I’d done it! I was so. Freaking. Proud. Of myself.
I still haven’t cleaned my car, though. :)
