I don’t know how many of these blog entries I can really start with the words “Today was exhausting.” We have officially failed with our vacation. And by “we” I mean “me” and by “our” I mean “my.” I have, somehow, become an Official Jon & Kate Gosselin Expert, so I was fielding phone calls and emails all morning from reporters who wanted to talk about the split announcement. I wound up being quoted on CNN and in the Vancouver Sun, among others. So that’s exciting. I talked to one reporter at 8 am, and then she called back with a follow-up question around 1 pm, and after we chatted she was like, “You sound much more awake now.” Ha! Also: Embarrassing! I need to start refusing interviews before noon. Apparently I’m a slumbering wreck. I did a radio interview about women running small businesses on Monday morning, which I’m not even going to link anyone to, because I was pretty much asleep for the first half hour of it and I have no idea what I was talking about. I also learned an important lesson: Don’t call into a radio interview from a cell phone. Just don’t.
My friend Roxanne from college is in town to run the Seattle half-marathon, so after all the morning madness died down, I picked her up and we spent a few hours together. It was amazing and cathartic and wonderful. I’ve known her so long, and through so many changes in both our lives, and we can be completely honest with each other. We’re on the same wavelength. It’s just so important, every now and then, to be able to bounce the insanity in my head off of someone else and have them be like, “Yeah, I’ve had that thought, too.” It makes me feel less alone.
I leave for Chicago tomorrow, and I’m actually allowing myself to get a TEENSY tiny bit excited about it. I just checked and I have plenty of Xanax to get me through the plane ride. And now that the time is closer I’m feeling more okay about it. I swear: I am in more fear about plane rides two weeks before I have to take them than I am the night before I have to take them. I can’t puzzle that out. I think maybe it’s panic about not being able to immediately address my fear? I don’t know. I’m open to ideas. Like, if someone from work calls and is like “We need you on a plane to LA tonight,” it’s no big deal. Cool. Let’s do it. If someone from work calls and is like “We need you on a plane to LA next month,” I begin panicking. What. The. Fuck? Anyone a shrink who wants to weigh in on my crazy bullshit?
And now it looks like I’m going to NYC for work the second week of July, which will be super awesome and I’m so looking forward to seeing my NYC girls, but it will result in me missing (a) the critics’ screening of Bruno, for which I was so excited and (b) the first day of the improv class I signed up for in an semi-Ambien blackout but am actually now really psyched for (Have I not mentioned this previously? It’s a long story.)
