I’m shaky today. Not depressed, just shaky. Disconnected from reality. This is what I mean when I say I go away. I’m not firmly here. Shaky. Different kind of buzzing. Quiet, tighter and broader wavelengths, overlapping. It’s a mess in there. Having trouble finding words. Having trouble getting them out, stuttering, like I’m hungover, but I wasn’t drinking last night. Told a friend an hour ago that my nails were “all growed out.” She looked at me like I was crazy. “Grown, Sasha. They’re all grown out.”
The emails you guys send me break my heart. Sometimes bring me to tears. So many of you have gone through this quietly, without speaking, without asking for help.
Speak.
