I don’t have much to write today because I have been having the worst stress headaches and nausea all day. I also didn’t get to watch hardly any of the inauguration stuff because there’s no television at my dad’s house and his Internet sucks (the Cox guy came and fixed it today, but later in the day). So I’m just feeling really disconnected from the rest of the country right now and also very ill and anxious, and all the Tylenol and anti-anxiety meds and prayer and meditation in the world aren’t even making a dent in it, and it just really sucks. I hate just sitting in it when I feel like this. I want it fixed.
I feel like this time of year is hard for me, and I honestly have no idea why. It was around this same time last year that I started having really bad anxiety attacks and had to be hospitalized and just basically went crazy and detached from reality. I don’t think it’ll happen that bad this year because I think the meds will prevent a full-on breakdown, but still. I definitely feel the crazy coming on, and it SUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. I don’t even understand why. Something about late January, I guess. I know everyone’s gonna say I have seasonal affective disorder, but I’m in Arizona. It’s sunny and bright here even in January, and I was in LA when my breakdown happened last year. These are not dark and rainy climates. I really don’t understand why I’m feeling like this, and I hate not having answers.
