Don’t worry, my family and my dog are just fine.
My felt Chanel makeup bag, on the other hand, is missing. It has been missing since New Year’s Eve and I am totally devastated. I know I brought it to Courtney’s house to get ready, and then I’m pretty sure I put it in my car afterward (Courtney swears it is not in her house anymore), and now it is nowhere. It is not in the car. I have searched it inside and out. My makeup bag is gone.
I don’t know how to begin putting my life back together.
Where do you start?
All my makeup was in it. I have no other makeup. So I have not worn any makeup at all for the past two days. The last time I spent any significant time period not wearing makeup I was like 10 years old. It is very scary to walk past mirror after mirror and see myself and be like “Ew! That is what I look like?” And, like, I haven’t been really thrilled with my body lately, but I could always look at my face and be like, “Well, I have a pretty face at least.” But now I understand that what I had was pretty makeup. My bare face is scary. It was especially traumatic when my father took a picture of me tonight and I had to look at it. It was like all my self-confidence got sucked up into that photo and I’ll never get it back. My face looked pretty in pictures back in 2008. Now? Not so much.
And I had a very specific set of colors that I’d spent years settling on — the colors that look the best on me — and now they’re gone and I can’t even remember what they were. It will take me years to discover them again. And all my brushes! My beloved, perfect brushes! Gone, gone, gone!!!
I don’t know where they all went. There were a lot of people going in and out of my car on New Year’s Eve, so maybe it accidentally fell out? Maybe the valet stole it? Or, as my father suggested, maybe the Indian restaurant stripper stole it and put all of it on her face? I just don’t know. I would offer a ransom but I don’t think that would help. But if you know where my makeup bag is, please, please, please let me know. This is such a terrible human tragedy.
