The best place about the cabin we rented at Mt. Baker?
Everything had little labels on it. Staying in that cabin was like being on a permanent scavenger hunt. The labels on every item in the house gave you little clues about where you might find closet keys or appropriate light switches and helpful suggestions to do things like lock the door, unplug the appliances and turn on the exhaust fan while showering. Thank you, Mr. Landlord! It never would have occurred to us that the fireplace could get hot or that the deck could get icy if it hadn’t been for your labels. We would have just been burning ourselves willy-nilly and slip-sliding around if it weren’t for all your label-tastic helpfulness!
We desperately wanted to buy a label-maker and do some labeling of our own. We wanted to make labels for all the cups that said “Don’t Spill!” and labels for the bathroom floor that said “Slippery When Wet!” and labels for the undersides of tables that said “Why Are You Down Here?” and labels for the bed posts that said “Please Use a Condom — Remember That Other People Have to Sleep on These Sheets After You.”
Unfortunately, we were staying 60 miles from the nearest city, and it’s hard to buy a label-maker in the middle of nowhere on Christmas Eve. Damn shame, too, because Jesse and Trisha both burned their fingers on a cooking pot on the stove that really needed a “Metal Pots Get Hot When They’ve Been Sitting Above a Large Flame for 10 Minutes Just FYI” label.
I think we should sue.
