T - 2 hours: Ew. I smell like dog pee all over. This is disgusting. I need a good cleaning.
T - 1.75 hours: Oh, joy! The carpet cleaning man is here! My owner will now spend a ton of money so that I can get the deep cleansing I deserve. Woot woot!
T - 45 minutes: I’m so clean and pretty! Spotless, that’s me! I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille!
T - 30 minutes: My owner is opening the patio door to let some fresh air in. All the icky chemical smells from my cleansing can be released. The breeze is nice. I am so happy.
T - 15 minutes: Now my owner is going into the kitchen for thirty seconds to make lunch. Oh no! The dog is heading outside! OWNER! OWNER!! Ack!!! HELP!!! This can’t end well!
T - 13 minutes: Potted plant. All over me. I am gross again. Sad face. Sigh. At least I had nearly half an hour of cleanliness this month.
