I am the proud owner of a brand new coffee machine.
I’ve never owned a coffee machine before, and I’m like a little girl with her first tea set. I’ve set up a special “coffee station” on my kitchen counter, where I have the filters, the coffee, the creamer, the sugar packets and the stirring sticks. I actually get excited to get up in the morning and go play with my coffee machine. It makes me feel so grown-up!
Things the Roomba is good at:
Things the Roomba is not good at:
Total time spent sleeping on couch today: 6 hours.
Hung out at my friend Courtney’s house tonight. There were about six girls over there, and, because we are soooo cool, we decided to play Catch Phrase, which was actually incredibly fun. I haven’t laughed that hard in a really long time.
When I was 14, my best friend Alex and I went with her family on vacation in Mexico. We were there in late December, over Christmas. Early on in the trip, we met this Mexican guy on the beach who told us we should call him if we wanted to go out with him and his friends. So on Christmas Eve, we called him, and we met him and his friends at this nearby hotel. It was me, my best friend, and like 15 teenage Mexican guys we’d never met before. We had such amazing judgment as teenagers.
We’re getting ready to head out on the town, and the guys ask the valet to bring their cars around. A few minutes later, three cars pull up in front of the hotel. They’re these top-of-the-line luxury SUVs. Alex and I are like, “Dude, what the fuck?” The guys speak very little English. We speak some Spanish. We manage to communicate to them, somehow, the concept of “What the fuck?” in Spanish, and it comes out, slowly and with quite a bit of circumlocution, that these are the children of Mexican drug traffickers. Because we are fourteen, we think this is awesome and very funny, and we spend the next five hours partying with the drug trafficking spawn. They buy us dinner. They buy us drinks. They buy us T-shirts and souvenirs. Then they drop us off at our hotel right before our curfew, as we’d requested. And that’s it. That’s all that happened. They are complete and total gentlemen the whole night. Alex and I still look back on that night as proof that God loves us. Like, we definitely should have been sold into slavery, or at the very least raped, that night, but instead we were treated like princesses. We are two lucky people. It’s like this one time that I wanted to mix bleach and ammonia in a closed room, because I’d marked up a tile floor with my boots and I felt that would be the best way to get the mark out, and Alex said it probably wasn’t a good idea because the ammonia might damage the tile. We should have died that night, too.
Anyway.
Here’s the point: the next day was Christmas, and everything was closed. Me and Alex and her family got up and ate waffles for breakfast. Alex and I were hungover as hell from the night before.
That afternoon, we’re all playing Catch Phrase. My word is “waffle.”
I say, “I had one of these this morning!”
Alex’s father is like “A hangover!”
Sigh.
Got up at 8 am this morning. Meeting producer and director of Garden Party at their hotel for breakfast. I’m consulting for them on a website they’re considering starting. Breakfast is yummy (particularly good orange juice), and they’re easy to talk to. Questions aren’t too hard, thank goodness. Laremy shows up later to interview them about their film. Laremy’s knowledge of film history is expansive. Compares the writing in the film to “Lebowski” repeatedly. I have no idea who Lebowski is. I’m not sure these guys do, either.
This one time, at Sundance, Laremy and I were supposed to interview some band on camera together. He told me about it that morning, and I was like, “Should I prepare questions?” and he was like, “No, no. Just follow my lead. It’ll be fine.” Ten minutes before the interview, Laremy’s like, “You know, I think it’ll be better if you just do this yourself.” And I’m like “???”
I was unprepared, and the band was nervous and sober and not at all chatty. It was a total disaster. The whole damage report is available, in all its grueling detail, here. The lead singer of the band later apologized to me on her blog.
well, before the show fran, rob and i got double interviewed by sasha and laremy from film.com. sasha and i seemed to be on the same wavelength when it came to the comfort levels we felt through out the whole process. laremy took over the second half and i basically kept my yapper shut except for when the microphone got put in front of my face and i mustered out, “ditto”. i wish i had gotten to talk to sasha after the interview to apologize about how bad i am at talking with the cameras on.
Yeah. It was bad.
After breakfast I am going to clean my house, do laundry, and go shopping. What I actually do is nap for two hours.
Then I get up and go to Target. (See: Target Disaster)
Return home, get the mail, walk the dog, watch Jon & Kate Plus 8 on my DVR for two hours. Am exhausted. Have not cleaned or done laundry. Mail has a lot of bills. And it’s not that I don’t have the money, it’s that paying bills is an overwhelming and confusing process for me. I don’t know why. I just get flustered. I have a terrible credit rating, and it’s not because I can’t afford to pay my bills, and it’s not even that I mind parting with the cash, it’s that I don’t pay my bills because paying bills is just a scary process for me for some reason. So many account numbers. So many checking accounts. So many passwords and so many websites. My brain short-circuits. I can’t navigate it. Instead I put “pay bills” on the to-do list for tomorrow.
Heading up to a BBQ on my building’s roof-top deck (yeah, the one I got invited to yesterday) and then out to a girlfriend’s house for Ladies Game Night. Look at me! I have friends!
Things I went to Target to buy:
Things I left Target having bought:
Total spent: $264.38
RIP, my money.
